just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
