why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
