Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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