and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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