so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
