Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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