Just fell off a train. Bad.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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