So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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