but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
