Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
