I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
