you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
