im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we're making bets on your personal life
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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