It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
