Michael Bay diarrhea
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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