Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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