i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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