eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize