It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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