Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
