So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
