Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He literally asked permission to hit on me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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