I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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