I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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