My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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