you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
