your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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