The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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