hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
