hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
