someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
