If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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