Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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