i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
