Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
