I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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