I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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