How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
