So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
