I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
