We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
