it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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