I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
