So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
