"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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