A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
