i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
