forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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