The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
