guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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