Got a toothbrush?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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