he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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