Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
