it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
