I met the friendliest cop last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
